OKKERVIL RIVER
is enjoyable for audio-whosits.

In A Radio Song
A Stone
Song of Our So-Called Friend
A Girl in Port
A Hand to Take Hold of the Scene
Black
Blanket and Crib
So Come Back, I Am Waiting
Red
You Can't Hold the Hand of a Rock'n'Roll Man
Seas Too Far to Reach
For Real
The Dreadful Wind and Rain
A Glow
Black Sheep Boy
No Key, No Plan
Our Life is Not a Movie, Or Maybe
A King and a Queen
Unless it's Kicks
The President's Dead
Love to a Monster
John Allyn Smith Sails
Song About a Star
Just Give Me Time
Plus Ones
Savannah Smiles
The Latest Thoughts
It Ends With a Fall
Whole Wide World
The Criminal War Rises and Speaks
Kathy Keller
Maine Island Lovers

Another band I promise I did not make up. MORE LATER.

fridge is my homegirl.

Some Aquabatian songs from The Aquabats!, instead of an update!

Off Myths, Legends, and Other Amazing Adventures, VOL. II!!
Hey Luno
Pizza Day
Pool Party
Dear Spike
I Fell Asleep on My Arm
Radiation Song
Worms Make Dirt
Sandy Face
The Wild Sea
Robot Theme Song

Off The Fury of the Aquabats!!
Super Rad
Cat With Two Heads
The Story of Nothing
Captain Hampton and the Midget Pirates
Martian Girl
Attacked By Snakes
Idiot Box
Theme Song
Red Sweater
My Skateboard

Off The Aquabats VS The Floating Eye of Death!!
Canis Lupus
Giant Robot Birdhead
Sequence Erase
Lovers of Loving Love
Chemical Bomb
Monsters' Wedding
The Ballad of Mr Bonkers
Tiny Pants
The Thing on the Bass Amp

Off CHARGE!!
Fashion Zombie!
Nerd Alert!
Look at Me, I'm a Winner!
Hot Summer Nights [Wont Last Forever]!
Awesome Forces!

Yes, this does profile an accurate look at my psyche.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!

The Devils are out of the fucking playoffs.

I'm going to salami the Pope's fucking Popemobile.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!

Ho's - Pepper
Rent - Pepper
Too Much - Pepper
Use Me - Pepper
Sitting on the Curb - Pepper

Is anyone else fucking excited as hell for that new Simon Pegg film, Run Fatboy Run? I think I've seen Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz respectively around- wait, wait, lets SCIENTIFICALLY ESTIMATE- maybe a skabillion-hundred times. They're just too fucking funny. Me and Sam are going to see Run Fatboy Run today and I have been looking at the clock every 9.15 seconds. IS IT TIME YET? LULLLLLLLZZZ PLZZZ!!

Today I plan on frolicking in the sunshine, canoning a box of raisinettes, and being kind to my fellow man, unless my fellow man is a shitty-faced cunt.

Or a Brendon Urie fangirl.



HOW GOES, FLIST?

One day I will update in a way that makes sense.

Today... is not that day.

HALLOOO KIDS!!

I've discovered a lot of Exciting New Things while I've been steadily not updating my LJ, so I'm gonna take this BEAUUUUTFUL Wednesday afternoon to have a fucking wicked hangover and bring you a glorious-

LA POST DU PIMP



Shit you should be into, as approved by me and 5 out of 4 dentists.

OKAYGO!

1. Streetlight Manifesto's new album, Somewhere in the Between. The whole fucking thing is amazing, but I'm a lazy arsehole, so here's just the tracks I felt like uploading! TURN UP THOSE FUTILE LAPTOP SPEAKERS AND HAVE A LISTEN.
We Will Fall Together - Streetlight Manifesto
Forty Days - Streetlight Manifesto
Somewhere in the Between - Streetlight Manifesto

2. Fucking pistachios. People tend to forget about pistachios, and that's just unacceptable. They're crunchy! They're salty! They're just plain nutty! I think I'll eat some pistachios right the fuck now.


3. Flogging Molly's new album, Float. Again, the whole album is pretty fantastic, and you should buy that shit. Have a random sampling!
Us of Lesser Gods - Flogging Molly
Float - Flogging Molly
The Lightning Storm - Flogging Molly

4. The adult swim program Metalocalyspe. Why? Because its fucking hilarious in only the most retarded fahsion, and will make you love Swedes. A little gorey, and a LOT of offbeat humour, so if thats not your bag, well. Don't click this link, I suppose.

5. DOGS manga and fandom. Brilliant japerneez comickers. Brilliant people.

6. Public transportation. Gets a bad reputation. While I'm rapping, lets not forget:

7. DMX's thought's on Barack Obama.
( This will be the funniest thing you read all day. )

I know. Its beautiful. You can find the rest of the interview nyah. The last line had me laughing so hard I nearly cracked a rib.

In actual news-news, I went to a Devils VS Penguins game last night and jeered heartily at a French canadian.

Oh, and for the DOGS kids on my flist, and because prpl_pen is a whiney whiner who whines:
Hit me up with some PROMPT REQUESTS at actuallyfoaming, which has had a recent DELUGE of pure, unadultured crap.

I'm not anywhere near close to done with all the prompts already given, but I'm chipping away at them. I am, of course, a very busy fucking man, after all.



Aaaaaaaaaaaand TIME!

Right. So. Going back to the motherland for a funeral, kids.

Back late Sunday or early Monday.

I have been making cookies since 1 PM today.

There are raisins in my pockets and cookie dough under my nails and coconut in my hair and I can't smell anything but chocolate.

Jesus fucking christ, who turned out the sun?

ALSO. Flist, I need some new icons. HOOK A BROTHER UP!!

Christmas is coming soon. What the fuck is that all about?

Nevertheless, time to get GREEDY!!

My Christmas Wish List
1. A dog.
2. A dog.
3. A dog.
4. A dog.
5. A dog.
6. A dog.
7. A dog.
8. A dog.
9. A complete set of stainless steel steak knives.
10. No, I was totally fucking with you on #9. What I really want is
A MOTHERFUCKING DOG.

( Diagrams help illustrate the point. )

If I don't get a goddamned canine, Santa will be dead to me.

DEAD, YOU HEAR??

Odd attempts at a new fandom over at actuallyfoaming.

I had to break into my own flat again today and now the doorknob is completely busted. Its a good thing there are no crazy people or burglers arouOHHHHHHHH WAIT.

THIS IS THE LIFE OF CHAAAAAAAAMPIIIIIIIIIIIONNNSS!!

Dear Flist,

What are you reading? What is it about? Is it any use? What was the last book that was so fucking good you wanted to physically BITE it or put holes in the ceiling? Tell me all about it.

Cheers,
Me.

Other things:

+ Why had I not discovered the FIFA world cup videogame before now? It is only the best thing ever to be able to play football without actually playing football, considering your blood now freezes if you go outside, which is not conducive to running and kicking. YES!!

+ I showered in one of those weird closed in showers this morning, with the sliding doors? Those are so fucking not on. I don't know why anyone would ever have one. It's like being in a fish tank or something. A people tank? The only cool thing about them is that you can write shit in the fog on the glass, and that is only fun for about eight point seven seconds. Wtf, people boxes? I shall stay true to my cheap plastic fishy curtains, now and forever. Amen.

+ Last night went kind of fucking stupid, and today I think I have a mightily bruised kneecap. I have a knee-brace but I can't find it. I suspect it has been stolen by an arsehole friend, or eaten by one of the cats.

+ Speaking of the cats, Scabs is settling in better. Poptart likes to smack him when he comes near her, but she's not actually GOING AFTER HIM anymore. I did the towel-rub-scent-mixing shite someone on here told me to do, and I think that helped, which was surprising and hilarious. CATS!! SO STUPID!! LLOLOLOOLOL.

+ When people try to pamper or cater to me, I get so dreadfully, mind-breakingly irate it is possible I might, one day, give myself an aneurysm. If I ever was able to afford going to one of those posh resorts or whatever [HAHAHA!] I think I would end up throttling someone. I don't know what that says about me, really.

+ The Crazy Lady from two doors down left an almost illegible note and a jug of cider at my door. Sam says it's probably laced with crystal meth and spit. I say, mmmm. Free cider.

+ And I was wondering. WHERE'S YOUR BACK UP??

+ After all that deliberation, I picked up a new character at bnf_brawl that has next to nothing in common with my original thought for a new character. I am having so much fun with said character it is almost disgusting. Ive also found out I cant play anon for fucking shit, and need to scream things from rooftops. Internet rooftops?

+ Remember how I fell asleep on the bus and woke up with my coat stolen? I SWEAR TO GOD I SAW MY COAT ON SOME FUCKING ARSEHOLE WHEN I WENT DOWN TO THE SHOPS TODAY. Due to this, Ter's break-in, and the Crazy Lady Debacle, Paranoia Levels are at an all time HIGH. Have a Very Helpful Chart.



I think that's all. Sorry for being kind of MIA, been a weird fucking couple days. I'm kind of down, but in an abstract way that doesn't concern me too much. Hows your sister?

New HP fic over at actuallyfoaming.

CHECK IT OUT, themegaloo THINKS IT IS GODLY!!

MEG: ahgsljgkjsagh
MEG: *PRAISES*

I promise this is my last update for today.

Okay sorry for updating twice but today got really fucking bizarre and I know you people love that shit.

Exhibit A: Today I fell madly in love with both a man and his mini-cooper. The cunt's some teenage-pregnancy statistic father that owns one of the little boogers at my daycare.

Does this mean Im having a mid-life crisis?



Exhibit B: Shit! I have another cat! Fuck! Whore! FUCK! Dammit!

I found him about two blocks from my house, a total box-kitten. Though he's a bit big for kittenhood, he's too small for tomcathood. It might just be malnourishment, though.

kjdfhgkdgkdjfnkjdfjkndfkjf Im not even a cat person!! I should just declare my home a shelter for mangy, pungent disease ridden animals and be fucking done with it. I dont WANT another cat, but I couldnt just leave the poor fucker there.

Ive named him Scabs and he looks a little like this:



Im going to get him all sorted out as per vetinary whatnot tommorrow, and as per stink lines tonight. I already have stinky turtles and a fucking live-in, christ's sake. There are ENOUGH stink lines around here as is.

Poptart is staying over at my next-door neighbour's because she was all BITCH, WHAAAAAAAT?? when I brought him home.

Anybody with cats, I'll be needing advice on how to try and make one cat not attempt to utterly DESTROY the other? Especially since they're two different genders..?

( Yessir, we just got us another shipment of stupid mindless reverse meme-shit. I can give you one half off, just between me and you, likes. )

Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiiist. ONE OF THOSE ODDBALL FUCKIN DAYS, MAN.

Oh my fucking god, you lot, this just in.

I AM A MOTHERFUCKING GENIUS OF EPIC PROPORTIONS.

Its probably already been done, but I could give half a toss. It hasnt been done by me, and thats all that matters.

Whats even better, you ask, eyes all a-glow? ITS FUCKING WELL INTERACTIVE!!

COMMENT WITH ONE HARRY POTTER FANDOM/FANFICTION CLICHE.

YES!! YES!!

Also: Enchanted. Take me to see it. I laugh so hard I cry when the adverts show the bus driver. NOBODY TRIES TO STAB MAH BUS!!

In today's installation of The Crazy Life and Times of Some Ginger Cunt, Ive definately huffed far too much pre-emptive christmas spirit and lost my fucking mind. I just spent 55 dollars on a Cody the Caterpillar rocking thing for Malachy. On top of the money I spent buying him that enormous bloody sheep.

Its almost as if I should just stuff an envelope with my life savings and post it to my godson. It would be a lot quicker that way.

Still, I REGRET NOTHING, as this caterpillar is a fucking sweet ride. I googled it to show you lot and brag, but the damn thing came up with things like motorbikes and commemorative plates.



This came up too, though, and I thought it was a fair representation of how BRILLIANT this thing is.



Hahahhaa, oh kids. Caterpillars turning into booterflies?? WHAT CRAZY SHIT WILL THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS THINK UP NEXT!!

In sum: my godson is going to pick up all the skirts within a ten THOUSAND km radius on this thing, for fucking sure.

Also:
I didnt think I would have to test out my hippie fucking "Enjoy the Now" theorism quite so soon. By Monday the daycare will finally start paying me, BUT Ive gotten a major slap on the wrist from my boss at the pub, who was very close to giving me my cards there. Im now on a sort of "probation," and if I fuck up as per being on time or get after scrapping with the customers, it'll be me sacked.

I was really fucked off about it for most of yesterday. Then I played street hockey until 2 AM, and regained my tranquil, buddha-like creamy centre.

"THE LORD GIVETH, AND THE LORD TAKETH YOUR SHIT AWAY." 69:69, THE BIBLE.

In other news, if the rampant Caterpillar buying didnt tip you off, I AM SO FUCKING PUMPED FOR CHRISTMAS ITS ALMOST DECEMBER AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH



Santa says, 'SUP, BRAH. WHERE MAH COOKIES AT??

Let me start by saying HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! to the American buffoons on my flist, and HAPPY FRIDAY!! to my non-yankee comrades.

HOWEVER, I have had ANYTHING BUT a happy insert-day here. No, no. I got ninety-nine problems, flist, but a bitch aint one.

No.. a bitch aint one.

When I woke up this morning, I had quite a sunny outlook. After all, the brilliant HAND TURKEY project is a day all those in the V. V. SRZ buisness of childcare look foreward to. Fuck, man, what isnt to love?



IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE A BEAK!! HAHAHA!! SMALL CHILDREN ARE SO STOOPID!! HAHAHAHHA!! Comedy GOLD. Holla back, nickelodeon, can I get a WHAT WHAT??

In any case. Lo and behold, just as I was getting ready to go in for the late afternoon shift after a lovely lie-in, I got a call telling me LOLOLOL WE'RE OVERSTAFFED YOU DONT HAVE TO COME IN LOLOLOL.

My hand turkeys, stolen out from underneath my NOSE, ladies and gentlemen.

FUCKING ARSEHOLES!!

Still, I did not LIE DOWN AND DIE. I accepted this setback with GRACE and DIGNITY. After all, I had a long night of pub work ahead of me, anyway. Resting up would only be a help, what with my bubonic plague status and all. And how wonderful, to think of the fat tips from the completely ossified, american football loving Thanksgiving crowd!! Surely, things could only get better!!

Oh, oh. IT WAS FOOLISH TO THINK AS SUCH, FLIST. HOPELESSLY FOOLISH.

The night started out innocently enough. The thing about holidays/big sporting events, is that we get a TON of people in to watch the game, that are not regulars. Therefore I was slinging pints left and right, backwards and sideways, for my 782358923895289345 [note: educated guess] tables. So Im hurrying along all evening, running about like a cunt, never getting a chance to do what I love about working there- eg, SHOOT THE SHIT- it was all BUISNESS. Needless to say, I QUICKLY lost my Sunny Outlook TM in the face of such a HUGE, demanding fucking crowd.

Here's when it got ugly.

Now, let me remind you: the people who come in to watch big sporting events are generally not regulars. Therefore, these people do not know, when I am not talking nor engaging directly with them, that the Long Haired, Skinny Redhead is not, in fact, an extremely flat-chested girl. Being about seven beers deep does ALSO not help with one's powers of observation.

You can tell where this is going by now.

So this vaguely drunk, NON-REGULAR cunt basically palms my backside as Im passing, which I wont say HASNT happened before. But Im so damn stressed and startled by the fucking thing that I dropped all FOUR full pints of Newcastle I was bringing to another table. CRASH. A bloody fucking MESS. Ill, irate, and FUCKING MORTIFIED, I went off at him.

About mid-rant about how he was a fucking scumbag grabbing after GODDAMNED FUCKING STRANGERS, whether he thinks they're bar tarts or not, and how Ive half a mind to clatter him fucking STUPID, I blacked out and fell down in my own spilt puddle of Newcastle.

I then got sent home early.

IN SUM:
+ NO FAT HOLIDAY TIPS.
+ NO DIGNITY.
+ NO FUCKING HAND TURKEYS!!

I am thankful for NOTHING!!

NOTHING!!!

New icons at actuallyfoaming, all about the wonders of writing and whatnot.

HAHAHAHAHHA!! NANO!! HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!

Whoah kids but I am updating a fuckton lately. Everyone is, actually. What the hell is in the fucking water??

In any case, things which are [not] of note:
+ STILL ILL!! What a party, man. Getting a bit better, though, I think. Hurrah!!

+ Finding used ..contraceptive items in the stairwell up to my flat has stopped being hilarious and started being off-putting. Just a wee bit. The ends of eras are always so bitter-sweet.

+ A friend took me and Sam to see Mel Brook's Young Frankenstein on broadway. Im not much for theatre, but I am much for comedy, and it hardly gets funnier than Young fucking Frankenstein, the musical. [SAY IT!! SAY IT!! HE VAS.... MY BOYFRIEND!!]

It was basically amazing on all counts, despite the lack of Gene Wilder. [I vish he vas my boyfriend.]



+ Ridiculous quizzes? WHY, WE JUST GOT A SHIPMENT IN TODAY!!

Lets101 - Free Online Dating

Awwww yeah.

+ Last but not least, tremuloushand is a depraved fetishing lunatic. Move over ravenpirate, your yiffing just cant compare to this.